We are a family divided thanks to our parents. My step mother’s children vs my mother’s children. Boys vs girls. Older siblings vs younger siblings. Everyone vs me.
I’ve always felt like the black sheep of the family. I’ve never had much in common with the rest of the family. Atleast, not with the ones that I was closest to. I’ve always struggled to connect with them because of this. I’ve always felt like I was on the outside looking in. I tried to get in. I tried many times. But eventually I realized that in was not where I belonged. In wasn’t me. Out was me. I’ve never been like these people. Not even close. And I have no problem with who I am. But they seem to. They can’t seem to respect and appreciate me for who I am. So I’ve been sitting on the outside, looking in. They only come and visit me if they need something from me. Of course there are exceptions. But mostly, they just wanted to use me, and take their shit out on me. I’m still sitting on the outside. And they are still treating me the way that they do. I’m trying to leave. To go find the people that I can be in with. But it has been a struggle.
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