I used to think that I could trust my sister. I have several but this is the only one that I grew up with. The rest of them are like strangers to me. She was the one that I opened up the most to. I told her personal and private things. I vented to her. We vented to each other. But I’ve been realizing that too many times what was supposed to be kept between us was told to other people. And it has only made things more difficult for me. I already have to watch what I say and do around here. I live with some very sensitive people. People that I have to walk on egg shells around. People who are prone to gaslighting and hypocrisies. People who will judge and criticize me all day long, but never check themselves. I don’t need more shit from them. I thought that talking with my sister in our shared bedroom was a safe space. A safe space to get some feelings out. Which would in turn help me cope with my pain. But she let other people into that space. People that she knew I didn’t trust. People that she knew were not nice to me. I don’t know why. Here I was thinking that our conversations were private. But I am starting to question whether she is on my side or not.
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